5 tips to get unstuck

No matter where you are in life, it can get overwhelming. Most of us are a lot better at juggling responsibilities than we think - friends, a relationship, your parents, a career, and the list goes on and on. It’s easy to get hung up on making the “right” choices, comparing yourself to your peers, and imposing unrealistic benchmarks on your life. The truth is, there’s no guidebook for living, no right or wrong way to reach your goals. Don’t let your thoughts have you backed against the wall, afraid to move in the direction of your best life. Just go ahead and do the next best thing. The rest will resolve itself with time.

1. Take the Next Best Step

You're overwhelmed with the task at hand. The goal seems too monumental or far away to even know where to begin. If you can relate, I want to remind you that you don't need to have all the answers. You don't need to have the perfect plan. All you need to do is take the next best step. Take the smallest step forward that you can imagine. Forget the remainder of the journey, and stick to the present. What is the next best step I can take in my situation?

Thinking in these terms helps us minimize the catastrophizing and analysis paralysis at play. It simplifies the road ahead and makes each step more approachable.

2. Reverse Engineer

You clearly know what reverse means. And you might be familiar with engineering; designing and building. But you've probably never heard of the two words together. Reverse engineering is exactly as it sounds; designing something backwards.

The idea of this strategy is looking at the end goal and working backward to determine each milestone along the way. You need to think about the dream or goal and work through how to get there. Create action plans and initiatives to hit each milestone. And once you create these plans, be sure that you stay focused on executing them with the help of accountability and SMART goals.

3. Change Your Perspective

One tool in coaching to help clients progress forward is having them identify their self sabotaging habits or cognitive distortions.

Cognitive Distortions are irrational thoughts that can develop into unhelpful feelings and behaviors. Common behaviors tend to be procrastination, fear, and black and white thinking.

In order to reduce or remove the distortions from our brains, we must focus at the problem at hand; the initial thought to begin with.

Let me give you an example. Let's say you dread public speaking. And the last speech you had to give at work was an absolute fail. You screwed up the words, forget some lines, and just butchered it entirely. A few weeks later, your boss asks you to prepare for an upcoming speech. You are absolutely terrified. You failed the last one so it's a given that you'll screw up this one again. You try to pawn off the speech to a colleague, but it doesn't work. Needless to say, the result from your previous speech put so much doubt in your blame that your new identity is "I can't give speeches. I'm just not that person."

But, those thoughts aren't helpful. One way to get unstuck from this unhealthy way of thinking is to change our perspective. What is another way you can look at this situation? If a friend went through this instead of you, how would you provide support? Challenging your initial thought on the original event and not merely the emotion of the event will help you progress and move forward with your goals.

4. Set a Deadline

There have been many pros and cons to the pandemic and migrating to a 'work from home' life for most of us. The pleasure of sleeping in just a bit longer, wearing comfortable clothing on your lower half, or being able to take bathroom breaks without anyone bothering you.

But one thing is certain about this new lifestyle, is it's been challenging for most to stay accountable to goals while working more independently.

There is something about that accountability of dressing up and showing up to work at the office everyday. To being surrounded by colleagues to kindly keep you in check. And although you might not be missing that pesky colleague in the cubicle behind you, you do miss some of their accountability.

Setting deadlines is an easy way to keep that accountability to yourself without depending on the push from others. It keeps you organized and on schedule. Next time you're stuck with a project, whether personal or professional, try creating a realistic deadline for yourself. Give yourself enough time to finish the task, but ensure you don't create too much wiggle room.

5. Know Your Self-Sabotage Style

This goes hand in hand with Tip #4! We all use different methods of self sabotage, and understanding which one we tend to gravitate towards will help us become more aware of our thinking patterns and implement the right tools to move forward.

Take this brief quiz to figure out what your self-sabotage style is, and the quick tips to help work through it.

I hope these 5 tips helped! I'm curious, what are your self-sabotaging habits? Leave your answer in the comments below!